


Comin' Around Again

by pornell_fangirl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 06:58:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pornell_fangirl/pseuds/pornell_fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Major Lorne receives a surprise delivery on the Daedalus. Is a second chance comin' around again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've marked this explicit although that stuff doesn't come til later.

It wasn't like Evan hadn't been expecting the Daedalus. It wasn't that he wasn't expecting the thirty new Marines that came with it. No, what Evan hadn't been expecting was to be transported back in time by the most startlingly blue eyes he'd ever seen. They were the colour of the ocean at Baja. Bluer than Evan's own remarkably sapphire orbs.

Instantly, Evan was back on the California coast, lying at the side of a newly dying bonfire, holding the one person he'd never been able to completely let go of. At least not in his heart.

That was the last night he'd spent in the small college town of Sunnydale on his road trip from San Francisco to LA. He'd never intended to pick up this college student, he was a 32year old Air Force Lieutenant! But those blue eyes had sought him out beyond the crowd to his place sitting alone by the dunes and before he knew what he was doing, he was making love and talking through the night with a 24year old psychology grad student.

Evan often thought back to that night and wondered what had become of his lover. Well now he knew, because Graham Miller; Sgt; USMC had just stepped onto Atlantis.

A gentle elbow nudged into his side as Laura Cadman whispered into his ear.  
"Major? Major? Evan, dammit! Are you ok? You look a little pale. Another migraine?"

Evan nodded, his eyes not once moving from the man now less than twenty feet away. To give him his due, if Graham remembered him at all, he didn't let it show. He had been a frat boy after all. Evan was probably only one in a long line of one night stands.

Not looking at his teammate, he whispered back,  
"Do you think you could take over the introduction speech, Laura? I need to go see Dr Keller. Get some meds."

Cadman patted his arm softly.  
"Of course. You go on, get that taken care of and get your head down for a few hours. I'll call if anything urgent comes up."

At that moment, Evan was glad Laura thought he had a migraine. It at least explained the strangled quality of his voice.  
"Thanks, Laura. I'll keep my comm open."

With that he turned and fled the room as quickly as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

Once out in the corridor, Evan realised that he did indeed have the beginnings of a migraine. Some meds from Jen and a couple of hours in his room and maybe he could think clearly about what he was going to do. If Graham didn't remember him, then great. There were so many marines on Atlantis, it would be easy for them to avoid each other. If he did... Well, damn! He didn't know what he would do. Would Graham want something from him again? Would he want something from Graham? He couldn't deny he was interested. There was a reason those beautiful eyes haunted his dreams even now, 5 years later. 

Evan was so lost in thought, he nearly fell on his ass when he collided with someone coming the other way. A hand reached out to steady him as he looked up into the face of his CO. 

"Jeez, Lorne," John Sheppard smirked, then looked at his XO's decidedly grey face and his expression instantly sobered.   
"Is everything ok, Major? Problem with the Daedalus?" 

Evan shook his head.   
"No, Sir. It arrived on time and all cargo and personnel present and accounted for."

Sheppard peered at him more closely.   
"You look like shit, Lorne. What's up?" 

Evan ran a hand over his face.   
"Migraine, Sir. I was just on the way to Doc Keller for some meds then I was going to head to my quarters for an hour or so, get my head down. Cadman's organising the new guys. She's fully capable but I'll be leaving my comms on just in case." 

Sheppard looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before touching his earpiece. "Cadman. It's Sheppard. I'm ordering Major Lorne to his room and to turn his comm off. If there's a problem with the new guys, call me or Stackhouse instead would you?" A pause, then, "Nah. But he could do with the rest. Thanks, Laura." 

Evan nodded once at Sheppard. "Thank you, Sir. I'm sure I'll be fine in a couple of hours." 

A strange expression crossed Sheppard's face for a moment before it passed.   
"See that you get some sleep, Evan. Jen can give you something for that if you need it.", he said softly. 

"Thank you, Sir. I may just do that.", Evan excused himself and continued on to the medical bay.

* * * *

Armed with the 'good meds' and a couple of sleeping pills that he knew he wouldn't take, Evan made his way into his quarters. Grabbing a water from his fridge, he quickly swallowed down the pain pills and flushed the sleeping pills down the toilet. 

Stripping off, he stepped into the shower and urged Atlantis to turn the heat up as high as he could stand it. Normally the powerful water spraying down his body would be enough to unclench the tight groups of muscles in his back, but today it wasn't working. 

He let his mind wander back to that night on the beach, images of blue eyes, hard muscles and soft, deep laughter rushing back to him. He remembered the aching beauty of making love to the younger man, feeling him tighten around him, bringing him closer and closer until the other man's own orgasm pushed him over the edge. 

He had taken Graham's address and number with a promise to stay in touch, knowing damn well that couldn't happen. They'd said a tender goodbye before going their seperate ways. 

Graham was by no means Evan's first lover, not even his first one night stand, but something had stuck with him. Never before had he felt such a connection with another person. If he could, Evan would've stayed a week with Graham, just talking and making love, but he had his orders and he was shipping out to Atlantis in two days. 

Back then, he didn't know what the future would hold for him and he'd felt like a class A bastard for making promises he knew he couldn't keep. Graham was young though, Evan was sure he'd find someone perfect for him in due time. 

Now thinking about it, Evan knew that Marines with close ties and families weren't posted here. Obviously, if Graham had met someone new, he had left him or her behind. A cold thought crept into Evan's mind. Maybe he was with one of the other marines. It wouldn't be the first time that had happened and Evan knew that Sheppard would more than willingly turn a blind eye, so long as it didn't affect the mission. 

Stepping out of the shower, Evan quickly dried himself off and threw himself on the bed. The dull throbbing behind his temple had dimmed and he wanted to stop thinking now. He knew he couldn't clear his own mind until he'd found out a little more about what had brought Graham to his city.


	3. Chapter 3

Something awoke Evan a few hours later. He thought for a second that he'd heard a noise, but he'd turned off his comms and there was obviously no one else in his room. Then he heard it again. It was his door chime. "Just a minute." he shouted as he grabbed a pair of sweats and walked to the door.

Thinking it open, he was surprised to find Sheppard standing in the corridor holding a meal tray. Sheppard returned Evan's puzzled look with a shrug. "It was getting late. Figured you could do with something to eat."

Looking down at his chronometer, Evan realised that it was indeed well past dinner time and that he was in fact hungry.

"Thank you, Sir. That was very thoughtful of you."

Sheppard shrugged again as he brought the tray in and placed it on Evan's small desk.

"Cadman's idea actually. I just volunteered to bring it."

Evan glanced at Sheppard warily. It was one thing to bring him some food, but to come inside Evan's quarters? That was something Sheppard had never done before. Not even after they all thought he was dead by the hands of the Genii. Even then, he'd stayed in the corridor and talked to Evan briefly at the door before going about his business. Evan gestured the small sofa.

"Can I get you anything, Sir?"

A look flashed over Sheppard's face. The same look he'd had earlier, Evan realised.

"Nah. M'good thanks. Eat up." he replied.

Awkwardly, Evan ate the not-quite-chicken fajita Sheppard had brought him, the green jello (his favourite) and drank the coffee that came with it. When he was done, he joined Sheppard on the sofa.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about, Sir? Is there a problem with the new guys?"

Sheppard shook his head and took a long look at Evan before muttering, "Rodney's gonna kill me."

Evan's eyebrows raised in surprise. "McKay, Sir?"

The CSO was known to be brittle, hostile and downright rude. At least until you got to know him. Then you discovered he was brittle, hostile, downright rude, loyal, brave and a damn good friend. Sheppard grinned.

"He told me not to bother you. He has migraines too, but I know you, Evan. We've sat opposite each other in that little office for five years. I know when you have a migraine. And there's something surely wrong but it's not that." He smiled almost shyly.

"I may be your CO, but I also like to think I'm your friend. You can talk to me about whatever it is that's going on with you."

Evan couldn't help but smile at that. John Sheppard willingly talking? He must be worried. But he knew there was no way he could talk to his CO about what was going on. He shook his head slightly.

"Thank you, Sir. But I really can't talk about it."

'Not with you.' he didn't add. Because there was no way he could tell his CO that he'd fallen in love with a one night stand 5 years ago and that the one night stand had just appeared that day on Atlantis. There was certainly no way he could tell his CO that said one night stand was a man. And he knew Sheppard couldn't ask. Even if he suspected it.

The thoughtful look returned to Sheppards eyes. "Look, Evan. Whatever it is, I'm talking to you first and foremost as John. Not Col. Sheppard. I wish you knew you can trust me."

And wasn't that just it? Deep down, Evan knew he could trust him, but even as he made the decision not to say anything, the words came tumbling out.

"Two days before I was shipped out here, I met someone on the beach in California. We had one night of amazing sex and even more amazing conversation. I promised I'd stay in touch, even though I knew I couldn't. But there hasn't been a night since then that I haven't remembered and wondered about where they are now."

Sheppard interrupted. "I'm taking a guess here, but you found that out when the Daedalus arrived didn't you?"

Evan nodded slightly before Sheppard carried on. "She's a marine, isn't she. You're worried that she's under your command."

The reply was barely a whisper. "He, John. His name's Graham. Sergeant Graham Miller."

"Fuck," Sheppard breathed. "I never even guessed. Are you gay? Bi?"

Evan laughed. "Gay. Figured it out when I was about 16."

Both men sat in stunned silence for a while, trying to wrap their heads around the confession that had just spilled out.

Eventually Evan broke the silence. "I don't think he remembers me and I'm in love with him. I don't know what to do, John."

Sheppard thought for a moment, trying to figure out the right thing to say.

"I'd be surprised if he doesn't remember you, Evan. You're kinda memorable. What makes you think he doesn't?"

Evan breathed deeply. "He just looked past me. Didn't react at all. I'm not surprised. It was 5 years ago. He was 24 and a college grad student. And you haven't seen him, John. Trust me when I tell you, I probably wasn't all that memorable to him. More likely I was the man of the week rather than the man of his future."

Sheppard shook his head vehemently. "Uh uh. You don't have amazing conversation with someone you forget that easy. Mind if I make a suggestion?"

Evan gestured for him to carry on. "Sure. Any and all advice welcomed here."

Sheppard grimaced. "I know what it's like to want something... someone you can't have. We're in another galaxy Evan and life's uncertain enough. As your CO, what I don't know won't hurt me, or you. As your friend... do anything you can for even a moment's happiness."

Walking to the door, he looked back over his shoulder. "Just think on what I said, Evan."

Before the door could slide open, Evan found his voice again. "You should tell McKay."

Sheppard visibly flinched and sadly shook his head, walking out of Evan's quarters without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Evan was jogging along the south pier when he spotted the object of his agitation, alone leaning against one of the low walls, staring out across the ocean. Bracing himself, he approached slowly and cleared his throat. Graham turned to look at him, before casting his eyes back over the view.   
"Good morning, Sir.".   
He spoke clearly not turning back again. 

Evan came closer and leaned back against the wall right next to him.   
"We need to talk." 

Crystal blue eyes locked on his own as the younger man casually regarded him.   
"No, Sir. Don't believe we do. Actions speak loud enough." 

He pushed off the wall and began to walk away but now that Evan had worked up the courage to start this, there was no way he was going to let go so easily. At least now he had the answer to one of his questions. There was no doubt Graham remembered him. 

"I'm sorry."   
It sounded pathetic, even to Evan's ears.   
"Could you at least give me a chance to explain?" 

Graham turned back round, his expression totally unguarded for a moment before the stoic mask slipped back onto his face. Evan was taken aback by the hurt and pain he saw in that fleeting second and was therefore more surprised when the marine turned and came back to the wall standing less than 6 inches from him. 

"Okay," Graham drawled carefully. "You're my CO. Guess we need to do this sooner rather than later." 

Evan let his eyes examine every inch of the man in front of him. There were a few lines around his eyes now and scars that Evan was sure weren't there that night on the beach, but other than that, Graham hadn't changed. Didn't look any older. 

"I came out here two days after, Graham. I thought that you'd move on. You were so young and... well... beautiful. I was sure you'd find someone else. Someone better than me. Someone who truly deserved you and could tell you the truth about where they were all the time. When we met, I'd been working for the SGC for ten years. I'd been to more alien planets than you could imagine. You were a psych student, if I'd told you the truth, you'd have had me committed."   
His voice lowered an octave. "I've thought about you every night, Graham. Every night! And each of those nights, I missed you." 

A thick silence covered the two men until the younger one spoke. "Sunnydale, California is the site of something called The Hellmouth. Being a grad student was cover for my marine unit. We hunted, detained and experimented on otherworldly creatures including vampires and demons. Things I never dreamed existed outside fairy tales until I saw them for myself. Alien shit wouldn't have scared me, but I can see why you think it would. I thought about you too, Sir. Wondered where you were and if I'd ever see you again." 

Evan relaxed a little at the words. "You have time for a coffee, Graham?" 

The marine's head spun around so quickly, Evan thought it may fall off. His heart skipped a beat however when the corner of Graham's mouth lifted in a small smile. 

"Sure. Where?" 

"My office ok with you? I have one of the few real coffee makers on Atlantis." 

Evan's smile mimicked Grahams.

* * * *

Walking down the corridor toward his office, Evan was surprised to see Sheppard lurking outside, slouched against the wall. 

Graham turned his head slightly toward him and whispered,   
"Maybe we should do this later?" 

Evan shook his head. "It's fine. Trust me." 

Reaching Sheppard he grinned. "You know, you can go in, Sir." 

Sheppard shrugged.  
"You know if I do that people expect me to do paperwork."

Looking over at the young man with Evan, he extended his hand. 

"Don't believe we've met. Lt Col John Sheppard." 

Graham paused, not sure whether to take his hand or salute. He opted for the former. 

"Sgt Graham Miller, Sir. It's an honour." 

Slowly, Sheppard raked his eyes over Graham.   
"You too, Sergeant. I've heard a lot about you." 

Punching Evan lightly on the shoulder, he moved to walk past them.   
"Shout me when you're done for the day, Major. I've got a couple of beers in my fridge with your name on them later. You took your own advice then?" 

Evan grinned.   
"Beer sounds good, Sir. You gonna take my advice too? I hear McKay's coffee supply just came in." 

Sheppard grimaced.  
"Damn XO's who always know best!" he murmured.

Evan gripped his forearm lightly.  
"It's better than not knowing, John." he whispered.

Sheppard took a deep breath and with one decisive nod, headed off to the labs. A second after he rounded the corner, Evan touched his comm, listened for a few seconds and replied,   
"Fuck you too, Sir! Hands off!" 

He led a stunned Graham into his office and poured them both a fresh coffee from the automated pot. Graham took the mug with a confused grin.   
"He's a little strange, isn't he?" 

Evan gestured for Graham to sit on the small sofa on one side of the office before placing himself on a chair facing it.   
"Never really thought so myself until last night." 

"You mind me asking what that was about, Sir?" 

Taking a drink of his coffee, Evan took a moment to drink in the sight of the man in front of him before answering.

"Best you don't ask, Graham. That way, I don't have to tell. And stop calling me Sir when we're alone. Please." 

Graham nodded. "Ok, Evan. But just answer me one thing. Are you and he... You know. I need to know."

Evan nearly spit out his coffee at the thought. "Me and Sheppard? Hell no! Not my type." 

Graham relaxed a little. "What's going on, Evan? What do we do here?" 

The older man couldn't help but sigh a little. "Honestly, Graham? I don't know. I know I missed you and I guess you thought of me too, but up til yesterday, I honestly never thought I'd see you again. I want to though. Maybe have dinner some time?" 

A string of emotions warred over Graham's face. "I would like that, Evan. But I've just arrived on an alien planet, you're my CO, I don't see how it could work." 

Evan smiled gently. "Take your time to get used to the city, Graham. I'll wait. As for the CO bit. Not really. That's Sheppard. As long as you're not on my gate team, it's not a problem." 

Graham took a moment to take it all in. "What about Sheppard? If he found out..." 

Waving his hand, Evan stopped him. "John knows, Graham. I told him everything last night. He's fine with it. Like I said. As long as you're not on my gate team." 

Draining his coffee, Graham stood up. "I need some time to think, Evan. Is that ok?" 

Standing until they were eye to eye, Evan leaned in and kissed Graham softly on the cheek. "Take as much time as you need. I'll wait. You know where to find me." 

Graham paused as he walked out the door. "It really is good to see you, Evan." before he disappeared down the corridor. 

Slumping down at his desk, Evan looked at the stack of paperwork in front of him. 'Fuck it!' he thought, before he made his way back to his quarters to shower and change.


	5. Chapter 5

Two hours later he was back at his desk, half the paperwork filled out and filed, when his comm beeped.

"Lorne, Sheppard. Do you have time this evening to go over the matters we discussed yesterday?"

Evan grinned. Obviously things had gone well for John, judging from the sing song quality of his voice.

"Certainly, Sir. I'll bring the paperwork along to your quarters to sign off on. Say 1900 ast?"

"That'll be fine, Lorne. I'll order us in a light dinner while we work. See you then."

Evan laughed to himself. The thought of Sheppard and McKay together? The thought of anyone being with McKay long enough without killing him was amusement enough.

He liked Rodney just fine, but he was sure he'd end up hitting him over the head with his own laptop within an hour of being alone with him. That was why he'd never made a move on the guy himself, even though he was almost certain McKay wouldn't have turned him down.

He was happy for Sheppard. With all the chaos involved with being the military commander on a city like Atlantis, he deserved someone to come home to. Someone who would understand the way things were out here. He was also sure that Rodney would worship John with the reverence he held for the ancient tech.

* * * *

Evan arrived at Sheppard's quarters at exactly 1900. Sheppard ushered him in where, true to his word, two not-quite-chicken salads and two chilled beers were sitting on his desk. Sheppard himself was wearing a shit eating grin that stretched from ear to ear.

"Things went well with McKay, then?" he asked, grinning a little himself at the look on Sheppard's face.

Sheppard looked like he was about to bring out his happy dance at any moment. "Can't thank you enough, Evan. Your advice worked. We're having dinner tomorrow night. But I didn't drag you over here to talk about Rodney. How did things go with you and Sgt Hottie?"

Evan laughed. "I can't believe you called him that over the comms, John! But to tell you the truth, I'm not so sure. You were right. He did remember me. We talked a little in the office."

Noticing the smirk on Sheppard's face, he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Talked, John! I asked him out but he said he needed time to think about it."

Silence stretched out as they ate and drank for a while before Sheppard spoke. "He'll come round, Evan. I saw the way he looked at you."

Evan shrugged. "I hope so. He was worried about what would happen if you found out. Had to tell him you were ok with it."

Sheppard nodded thoughtfully. "I could talk to him for you if you like. Nudge him in the right direction."

"Oh, God. Don't. The last thing he needs is the CO playing matchmaker!" Evan groaned.

When the meal was finished and two more beers were brought out from Sheppard's fridge, the men retired to the balcony.

"You know, Evan, Sam's been petitioning the SGC to have the DADT and frat regs rescinded for Atlantis personnel. O'Neil agrees with her. It's unfair us Americans have to have different rules to the rest of the expedition. I hope they win. Then maybe you, me, Rodney and Graham could do stuff together."

Evan tried not to laugh at Sheppard's unintended double entendre but failed miserably. "Jeez, John. I know you called him Sgt Hottie, but I meant it when I said hands off!"

It took a minute for Sheppard's brain to catch up with what he'd said. "I meant a double date or something, Major Sleaze!". Surrepticiously he snuck a glance at Evan. "Although..."

"Finish that sentence and I'll show you what I've been learning from Teyla!" Evan interrupted.

Sheppard laughed. "Just a thought, Evan. We are four seriously hot guys after all!"

Evan groaned. "No offence, John. You're just not my type." He leaned in a bit, conspiratorially. "I did think about asking out McKay once though."

Sheppard straightened up instantly. "Rodney? Really? You knew he was bi? Why didn't you make a move?"

Evan laughed. "Could you see me and Rodney? Honestly? I was only half joking when I threatened to shoot him. I don't have the patience with him you do. Besides, everyone who isn't you could see the way he looks at you. I've always thought he only dated women cos no man other you would've been good enough for him."

Sheppard fetched another two beers and sat back down facing Evan this time. "How do you see all this when I've been oblivious?"

Evan laughed. "It's like evasive ops, John. You were so busy trying not to let him see how you felt, you didn't see he was feeling the same way." "Makes sense." John agreed.

* * * *

The next three weeks dragged by slowly for Evan. His gate team took one straightforward mission after another. No alien rituals, no near death situations and probably most surprisingly, Sheppard's team didn't need rescuing once.

He occasionally caught glimpses of Graham around Atlantis. Sometimes in the mess hall, sometimes in the corridors and more recently once in the gate room before Graham went on his his first off world mission.

One thing stuck in Evan's mind. Another marine, as tall as Sheppard, twice as muscular. Evan thought his name was Flynn or Fern or something.

With a touch of unease, Evan noted the marine's habit of standing just an inch too close to Graham. He tried his best to shake it off.

Having read Graham's file, he knew the hell (quite literally) Graham had been through. There were a few marines that had come over on the Daedalus with him that had been on the same team. It was more than possible Finn, he thought that may be his name, was one of that team. Maybe he was something more, but Evan realised there was nothing he could do about that. Not without being more of a bastard than he had been before.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been one of those missions. Nothing had gone right, from Parrish stepping into the creek and soaking not only himself but everyone around him to the annoying quasi mud wrestling bonding ceremony he'd had to partake in.

Stepping through the gate back to Atlantis covered head to foot in gloop that had started itching on the walk back, he was prepared for the guffaw from Sheppard, but not the concerned and wary glances from Graham who was waiting with his team to go on a simple recon.

On the way to the infirmary for the post mission check up, he was surprised when Graham graced him with a small smile.

He was even more surprised when hours later as he was preparing for bed, his door chimed. He'd barely thought it open when he was caught up in an armfull of Graham, kissing his face, his neck, every inch of skin he could reach.

Shocking himself by stepping back, he looked over Graham warily. "What... What was that? Graham?"

The younger man looked down sheepishly. "I was scared, Ev. I know it's stupid, but I've never been there when you got back from a mission. It suddenly hit me. I needed to make sure you were ok. Then you answered the door and I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry."

Softly, Evan stepped forward and tilted Graham's face up to look him in the eye. "Not complaining here. Just surprised. Besides. Thought we might take this slowly. Date, y'know. If that's not too old fashioned for you."

Graham's small smile grew. "I'd like that. Maybe we could have dinner or something. If it wouldn't raise too many eyebrows that is."

Pulling him into an embrace, Evan stroked small circles on his back. "There's a room on level 6. Sheppard and I use it when we're hiding. I'm pretty sure it's where he and McKay have...", he broke off, realising he'd already said too much.

Graham raised an eyebrow. "Sheppard and McKay? Really?"

Evan groaned. "You can't say anything, Graham."

Blue eyes crinkled. "Their secret's safe with me. You know that. Just surprised. Not by Sheppard, or McKay even, just stunned that anyone would volunteer for that guy. I've only met him a few times and I already run in the other direction when I see him coming."

Evan laughed. "Rodney has that effect on people. But once you get to know him, you'll love him just like the rest of us."

Lightly Graham pressed his lips to Evan. "I'll take your word for that. Look, it's late and I really just wanted to check you were ok. So...dinner? Tomorrow?"

Evan pressed his lips back, slightly firmer. "Meet me at the level 6 transporter at 2000 hrs?"

Graham stepped back. "Ok. Night, Evan."

Evan was jittery all day. His nerves were just about shot by the time lunch came around, just thinking about his date with Graham that night. First thing that morning, he'd cornered Sheppard to ask if their room would be free.

They'd only found the ancient apartment two weeks previously and given the stunning views, large bedroom, complete with king sized bed, soft furnishings and small kitchen space, they'd decided to keep the location of the place to themselves. Silently agreeing that it would be cool to have somewhere to hide when dealing with the marines, scientists and all their bitching got too much.

Sheppard had asked Evan if he minded him taking McKay there. Evan of course, had agreed. It was one of the few places in Atlantis that was safe for them to be together. That way, if they were found there, they could claim it was a new discovery and they were checking it out.

Sheppard had claimed Rodney would be working all night on some piece of Ancient tech that had been discovered the day before, then began annoying Evan with the many possibilities regarding the use of the extra large bed. Finally Evan cut him off by asking for details on what he and McKay used the bed for. At last. Evan had found a way to shut Sheppard up mid sentence and he couldn't help but feel a little proud of being the cause of the pronounced blush that snuck up from Sheppard's neck to the tips of his ears.

Now he was sitting in the mess, trying to decide if it was the odd taste of the alien carrot-like vegetables or the fact that they were purple that concerned him most, when Sheppard none to gracefully dumped his own tray on the table in front of him. "You ready for the big night, Evan?" he asked, quietly.

Evan looked around to make sure no one could hear them, but it was late for lunch and the mess was nearly empty. "Guess so. If by being ready you mean, am I a bundle of nerves and feeling like a high school kid getting ready for prom."

Sheppard grinned. "It's like riding a bike, Evan. You don't forget. I'm sure you'll be fine."

Giving up on the strange purple veg, Evan confided. "It's a date, John. That's all. We're taking it slow."

A wicked smirk graced the CO's face. "Sure it is. You keep telling yourself that. But just in case you change your mind, I snuck up there this morning, changed the sheets, left out some candles and put some supplies in the left hand cabinet.

Gazing at the other man and trying to glare rather unsuccessfully, Evan grimaced. "One of these days you know, I'm going to regret being your friend! Your interest in my sex life is quite unnerving!"

Sheppard just stared back totally unrepenting as he shovelled pudding in his mouth. "Be grateful. Rodney wanted to put a camera in!"

Evan balked. "You dissuaded him, I hope."

Sheppard grinned. "Yeah. I managed to make him think I was jealous and that I thought he had a crush on you. He felt so guilty afterward that he did this thing with his tongue..."

Waving both hands in front of his face, Evan cut him off. "I'm begging you to stop talking now, John. Please!"

Just at that moment, the man in question arrived, travel mug of coffee in hand. "Am I missing something here? Not that you grunts would be discussing the meaning of the universe or anything."

The smile Sheppard graced Rodney with was so tender, Evan felt like he was intruding for a moment before Sheppard turned back into his playful self. "Zoomies, Rodney! Not grunts! Besides...I was just about to tell Major Lorne here about that thing you do with your tongue that..."

Once more he was discouraged from carrying on, this time by Rodney clamping a hand over his mouth. "Too much information, John. Really. Poor Lorne here really doesn't need to know about that."

Sheppard shrugged. "I dunno, Rodney. Might help him with his date tonight."

McKay glanced at Evan's red face. "He's not you, John. Lorne's always come across as a minimally intelligent for a zoomie to me. Date may just mean date. Just cos you couldn't keep your hands off, doesn't mean he can't be trusted with the young man's virtue."

Sheppard grinned up at his lover. "You haven't seen this guy, Rodney. Radek would have trouble keeping his hands off!"

Evan almost smiled at the mild mannered, probably asexual Czech scientist being handsy with anyone. He was the type that if you mentioned sex in front of him, he'd more likely run off, fingers in ears and singing la la as he went.

He was disturbed from his amused thoughts by McKay leaning in slightly closer to him. "I hear I owe you, Lorne. If it wasn't for you, John here wouldn't have realised what a great thing he could have."

Evan smiled. Only Rodney McKay could make a thank you sound so egotistical. "My pleasure, McKay. I'm happy for you both. I honestly am."

McKay stole a quick smile at Sheppard before straightening up. "I have to go now. Speaking of Zelenka, I should go and make sure he hasn't blown anything up while I've been gone. It has after all been nearly ten minutes."

Sheppard and Evan watched McKay go with fond and amused smiles, shaking their heads as he stopped at least twice to berate other scientists into getting back to work.


	7. Chapter 7

The afternoon passed by in a blur of paperwork and Sheppard dropping by occasionally, ostensibly to distract Evan but actually fraying his nerves even more.

At 1800hrs, he headed to the mess to pick up a meal that could be easily reheated in the rooms small kitchen and dropped it off. By 1930 hrs, he'd showered, shaved and gone through 4 different wardrobe selections, aiming for a look that said he wasn't trying too hard. 1955 hours found him standing by the level 6 transporter trying to decide if he wanted to throw up or run away.

'This is stupid.' he thought to himself. 'I've lived through Wraith attacks, the whole kidnapping situation and near death at the hands of the Genii, John Fucking Sheppard, and I'm scared of a date?'

He was just managing to pull himself together when Graham walked around the corner. Evan's breath caught in his throat. He hated to use the term to describe a fully grown and very masculine marine, but damn! Graham was beautiful. His faded blue jeans clung to every inch of his long legs, the sky blue button down shirt made his eyes sparkle like the Atlantis ocean and God, his unlaced jack boots sent a tingle down Evan's spine. Suddenly, the black tee and jeans he had chosen for himself looked drab in comparison.

Shyly the two men smiled at each other before Evan took hold of the younger man's hand and pulled him into the transporter. Evan waved his hand over the crystal display to open the room.

Graham gasped quietly as he looked around. "Wow. I see why you keep this place quiet. Look at the view."

Evan joined him at the window which covered most of the far wall, both staring out at the sun setting over the ocean below. "I brought dinner up. It just needs heating." Evan murmered, almost scared to break the mood. "Radek Zelenka gave me a jar of his moonshine too if you're feeling brave enough to try it."

Graham turned to him with a brilliant smile. "Trying to get me drunk, Evan?"

"Oh, God. No, Graham. That's not..."

The young marine cut off Evan's protests with the press of his lips against Evan's own.

"It's ok, Evan. I know you wouldn't do that.", he whispered against his mouth.

Evan smiled softly. "C'mon. Dinner."

Ignoring the candles John had left on the side, he dished up the Atlantis equivalant of Spanish Omelette. Putting a plate in front of Graham, he grinned sheepishly. "It's from the mess. You really don't want to take the risk with anything I cook."

Graham smiled back. "Don't worry. Next time I'll make dinner."

Sitting down opposite, Evan couldn't help but ask. "Next time?"

The young marine took a mouthfull, chewing thoughtfully before answering. "Was kinda hoping this wouldn't be another one night stand, Evan."

Evan swallowed his own food carefully, his throat restricting at Graham's choice of words. "Never intended it to be the first time. I'm sorry, Graham. I should never have let it get that far."

Graham shrugged. "I don't regret sleeping with you, Evan. Never have. I just regretted never seeing you again."

The rest of the meal passed with a degree of awkward silence. Although Evan couldn't guess at what Graham was thinking, he himself was feeling guilt at the way he'd messed with the younger man. When the plates were emptied, Evan loaded them in to the Ancient dishwasher before pouring himself and Graham a glass of Radek's home made Vodka.

When he passed Graham the glass, their fingers brushed for a moment and Evan was loathe to pull them away. Taking Graham's other hand in his, he pulled him gently to sit next to him on the large bed. Blue eyes met blue as Graham looked up at him.

"Still sure you're not just trying to get me drunk?"

Evan couldn't help but notice the emotions in Graham's eyes. Hope. Desire. Lust? The atmosphere crackled with electricity, the ancient walls shimmered around them. Evan barely had time to think that he ought to ask John if that happened when he and Rodney were here, when nimble fingers took the glass from his hands, strong arms pushed him backwards and hot lips met the curve of his neck.

All cognitive thought left him when a hard, warm body pressed against him, pulling him away from everything except Graham and the need to make love to the younger man and claim him for his own.

Evan wrapped a hand gently into dark blonde locks and pulled Graham's mouth up to meet his own. Five years of longing poured out from his lips to his young lover. "Gray!", he moaned. "Oh, God, Gray. You gotta stop. If you don't stop now, I won't be able to control myself."

Graham chuckled, soft and low. "Need you, Evan. Need you so much. Want to make love to you. Please."

Evan groaned and flipped so that Graham was pinned below him. "Are you sure? I need you to be sure."

Desire flamed beneath Graham's blue eyes. "I've never been more sure of anything. Please... Oh, God, please."

Evan gripped the younger man's wrists and pulled them up over his head. Graham arched his head back in submission to Evan's desire. Slowly Evan ran his hands down from wrists to shoulders, stroking and calming as he went. Graham's body shivered under his as he moved across shoulders to the strong muscles in his chest. He could feel Graham harden as he squirmed beneath him and Evan moaned.

Nimble fingers caressed soft skin as button after button came undone. With each bit of skin exposed, Evan lowered his mouth and kissed, sucked and nibbled. Pushing aside the halves of Graham's shirt, Evan gasped at his exposed nipples, slightly darker than the uniformly tanned chest. Gently he ran his fingers around them eliciting moan after moan from the marine. He couldn't resist any longer. He ran his tongue over first one hardened bud then the other. The whimper that came from Graham's throat spurred him on. He bit down gently on the soft flesh and when he felt Graham harden impossibly more, he bit down, sucking and using his tongue to lave away the small hurt, marking his man as his own.

Graham's hands entwined in his hair, silently urging his mouth downward. Using his tongue, Evan laid a trail down his stomach slowly pausing to draw a whimper from the man beneath him by dipping his tongue in his navel and then on until he came to the belt on Graham's jeans. Fumbling, he managed to unbuckle the belt and open the fly. The musky smell of arousal flooded his senses as he mouthed the tip of Graham's cock through the thin material of his boxers.

Graham squirmed and moaned, boneless underneath him. Evan pulled down Graham's jeans to mid thigh before returning his attention to his erection. Gently he used his mouth to pull the now sodden material downward, exposing the thick reddening shaft he'd seen in his dreams. He took a deep breath to inhale more of that delicious scent before slowly licking up his length. Graham tightened his hold in Evan's hair as he opened his mouth and swallowed him all the way down. Using the exact right amount of tongue and the faintest hint of teeth, he sucked and hummed around Graham until the younger man felt himself getting closer and closer to orgasm.

"Fuck... Ev! I'm gonna come!", he ground out, hoarsely.

Evan sucked harder, pulling Graham further toward the edge until his grip in Evan's hair became almost painful and every muscle in his body tensed. As he felt himself let go, Evan tightened his mouth around his cock and swallowed twice taking down everything Graham could give him.

Propping himself up on his elbows, Evan calmed his breathing, gazing up at Graham. When he finally felt like he could move without collapsing down on him he reached up and caught him in a searing kiss.

Graham looked up at him, his stoic marine mask long gone, replaced by a soft smile. "You're wearing too many clothes, Ev.", he whispered.

Evan grunted and quickly shed himself of the unwanted material and finishing undressing Graham. The undressing had abated his urgent need to come for now so he contented himself with wrapping around his lover and stroking gently up his sides and down his back.

It wasn't long before he felt Graham's returning touches become more frantic as he amazingly began to harden again. The older man groaned as Graham licked up the side of his neck.

"Want you in me, Ev." he moaned in his ear.

Stretching over Graham's prone body, Evan reached into the bedside cabinet and pulled out a tube of lube and a condom. He chuckled silently, reminding himself to thank John next time he saw him.

Settling between Graham's legs, he tore open the condom and slipped it on. Graham squirmed as Evan poured the cool lube over his groin and it ran between his legs. Planting his feet on the bed, he spread his legs as wide as he could as Evan stroked around his hole. His breaths were coming in short pants.

"Fuck, Ev. It's been a while but I'm not gonna break. I want you in me now."

Evan grinned but didn't speed up as he pushed his finger slowly into Graham.

"Oh, baby. You feel so good!", he muttered.

After what felt like hours to Graham, he added a second finger just as slowly scissoring and stretching him. When Graham started to rock back on him he added a third. They may both be eager but there was no way he was risking hurting his boy. A few minutes later, Graham started moaning incomprehensibly and pleading with Evan to; "Fuck me, honey. Just fuck me!"

Pulling his fingers carefully from Graham's warm enticing ass, Evan slicked his cock with more lube and lined himself up. Teasingly, he pushed in one centimeter at a time. Using his hands to steady himself, he held on to Graham's hips to stop him from pushing back. Eventually he bottomed out and while he waited for Graham to adjust to the full feeling, he leaned over and kissed him softly.

He knew Graham was ready when his hips started making small jerky motions so he pulled half way out and slid back in gently but firmly.

Graham began moaning his name over and over as each stroke hit his prostate and it wasn't long before Evan could feel himself hurtling toward orgasm. He reached between them and took Graham's pulsing cock in his hand. He stroked once, twice and on the third time, Graham screamed his name loudly as he came messily over his hand. Evan couldn't hold back any longer. The muscles in his thighs stiffened as he reached his own orgasm.

Collapsing down, he fell into Graham's outstretched arms. He felt soft kisses on his face as he drifted off into oblivion.


	8. Chapter 8

The room was dark when he finally stirred. A cool chill filled the air but he felt the warmth of a hot body next to his own. Moving carefully so as not to disturb Graham, he slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom.

Closing the door, he thought the lights on dim and disposed of the condom. He hardly recognised the man he saw looking back at him in the mirror as he cleaned up. He didn't know if it was love, content or something as simple as the release of tension that made him look ten years younger than the battle worn Air Force Major who had entered the room earlier that night. Smiling to himself he stepped back into the bedroom.

The dim light spilled out over the bed casting Graham in a golden glow that highlighted the hard curves and planes of his amazing body. As Evan leaned on the door frame, a sleepy blue eye opened and Graham's sleep roughened voice drifted over. "Coming back, Major? Or are ya just gonna keep staring at me?"

Evan cocked a grin at the naked young man. "Was just thinking what it'd be like to paint you."

He strolled back over to the bed and planted soft kisses down Graham's spine. "I was also wishing we could stay here all night." Graham rolled over to face him properly. "How much longer do we have?"

Evan's expression saddened. "Not long enough, I'm afraid. John knew not to call me tonight, but I can't risk staying any longer. If anyone saw us..."

He let that thought go unfinished. Graham leaned up to capture his mouth in a soft slow kiss. "Next time you can bring your sketch pad. We can pretend it's an art class or something."

Sighing he heaved his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. "Assuming there will be. A next time, that is."

Evan put his arms loosely around his waist. "I'm playing for keeps now, Graham. I've dreamt of being with you again for 5 years. No intention of letting you go now. I lo... I care about you too much."

Graham leaned back into him, either not catching his near slip or gracefully ignoring it. "I care about you too, Evan. I'll be here as long as you want me."

Groaning into his neck, Evan breathed his scent in deeply, trying to emblazon it on his memory. He'd never be able to smell sandalwood and nitrate without thinking of this night. "C'mon," he sighed. "I'll walk you back to your quarters."

Graham indicated the bed. "What about this?" "I'll come back up tomorrow and take care of it." Evan replied.

The two men dressed silently, both more than a little sad not to be able to spend more time together. But they both knew the risks of violating DADT and a stint in Levenworth didn't appeal to either men so discretion was the only way forward. When they reached the door, Evan pulled Graham in for one last slow, tender kiss. "Can I see you again soon?" he asked tentatively.

Graham smiled and carded a hand through his hair. "Try and keep me away, honey."

As they left together, Evan, as promised, walked Graham to his quarters. Just as they reached the door, another marine, Finn, Evan recognised rounded the corner. Instinctively Evan took a step back. Graham rolled his eyes a little.

"Thank you for going over those notes with me, Sir. Ah, Riley. Have you met Major Lorne? We were just discussing the differences between Earth vampires and the Wraith."

The tall marine stepped forward. "Lieutenent Riley Finn, Sir. Honoured to meet you."

Evan extended his hand to shake the one offered. "You too, Lieutenent. Miller served with you Earthside, I believe."

"Yes, Sir." Finn replied. "One of the best marine's I've had the pleasure of serving with. Also a good friend."

Evan nodded sharply. "Well, I'll leave you to hit the rack men. Sorry to have kept you up so late, Miller."

Graham turned slightly so that only Evan could see his face. "Truly a pleasure, Sir. I'm very grateful for all you've taught me tonight."

Evan smiled. "Glad you showed the initiative to come to me, Miller. Again it was a pleasure. Good night now."

As he walked off, he was relieved he knew that Graham had studied the Wraith in detail before arriving in Atlantis.


	9. Chapter 9

Riley Finn stood staring at Major Lorne's retreating figure before turning to Graham. "Got coffee in there, Miller? Think we need to talk, don't you?"

Graham sighed and opened his door to let them both in. Riley followed him inside and sat on the small sofa while Graham made the drinks. Bringing two mugs over, Graham sat down on one of the dining chairs, facing Riley.

"What do you want to talk about, Ri?" he asked, managing to look completely innocent.

Riley leaned forward and studied Graham intently. "How long have we been friends, Gray?"

Graham drank from his mug before answering. "Nearly ten years. Why?"

His friend and former CO snorted. "Major Lorne? Studying the Wraith? I know you better than that. I thought after the Sunnydale shit, we weren't gonna have any more secrets. What's going on? You up for promotion or something?"

Graham stood up and walked over to the window overlooking his balcony. Christ, if he'd known you got rooms like this as a marine, and had he known about it, he would've signed up for Atlantis years ago. Taking a deep breath, he answered the question with a question.

"Ri? You remember what happened 5 years ago? Back in Sunnydale just before everything went to shit."

Riley wracked his memory for a few minutes. "You talking about the guy on the beach? Just before you came out to me and Forrest? What's that got to do with anything?"

Graham stayed resolutely staring out the window. "He's here on Atlantis, Ri."

He heard his friend take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Being a grunt, he mixed with all the military personnel on base. What had he learned from Graham about the guy? He was 32 then, so 37 now. An Air Force Lieutenent. Graham's height-ish, blue eyes, black hair... Shit! The revelation hit him like a ton of bricks and he nearly dropped his coffee mug as he stalked over to Graham.

"Lorne?" he hissed. "Major Evan fucking Lorne is the guy that used you up, spat you out and broke your heart into a million pieces? What the fuck Graham?"

Riley's mind was reeling. A week after that party on the beach, the light in Graham's eyes had died. It was a sudden thing, like the realisation that everything he believed in had disappeared. It had taken Riley and Forrest days to cajole and pester the truth out of Graham and even then, they'd only managed to do it by getting him so drunk he could hardly stand.

Graham Miller wasn't a romantic. He had a level head on his shoulders and yet, one night with this mystery man and he'd fallen head over heels in love.

There would be no point in pretending Graham was a saint. He was a red blooded male and when he finally realised he'd never see Evan (and why is it only now that Riley was remembering that was his name) again, he'd had his fair share of one night stands. But he'd never let anyone get that close to him again.

Riley felt like walking out of Graham's quarters, storming up to Major Lorne's and kicking his ass! And now they were stuck here on another galaxy and the major thought he could play with Graham again! No way! No fucking God damned way was Riley letting that happen again.

He was so angry he hadn't even noticed Graham had turned back to face him until he heard him speak. "Wasn't his fault, Ri. He came here two days after we met. I think being in another galaxy counts as a fair reason for not calling."

But Riley wasn't prepared to let go of his anger yet. It had been him, him and Forrest who had picked up the pieces when Lorne had broken Graham's heart the first time. No way in hell was he prepared to let that happen again.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves before he spoke, he looked at Graham hard. "And how the hell do you know he's not going to cut you off again, Graham? We're stuck out here now. There'll be no place to hide if he hurts you again."

Graham sighed. "I don't know that, Ri. I can't. But I love him. And I'm pretty sure he loves me too. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. There are a hundred reasons why it might not, but there are a hundred reasons why it might. I need you to be a friend here. I respect your opinion, I do. But I'm 29 years old. I'm not a kid. If this is a mistake, it's one I have to make on my own."

Riley put his cup down. "OK. I can't say I'm happy about it. Not yet. But I'll give it my best. Be your beard if I have to. I will promise you one thing though, Gray. I swear if he hurts you again, I'll personally feed him to Sheppard's pet Wraith!"

Graham laughed. "He hurts me again, I'll do it myself."


	10. Chapter 10

Evan awoke as the sun was rising the next morning. Stretching out he felt aches in places he'd forgotten could ache and it made him smile fondly. He hadn't showered the night before, reluctant to rid himself of the smell of Graham but as he crawled out of his bed he knew he'd have to before he started work. 'Eh, to hell with it.' he thought. 'Stupid to take a shower before his run.'

Pulling on a pair of sweats he started out on his usual six mile route around the city. Four miles in, he was startled when a figure stepped out of the shadows of the East Pier.

"Major, I was wondering if I could have a word?"

Evan bent over, gasping for breath. The shock of someone stepping out like that doing more for his heart rate than the run had.

"Lieutenent Finn. What can I do for you?" he finally managed.

Riley nodded to the end of the pier. "Could we do this in private, Sir?"

'Fuck!' Evan thought. 'He's Graham's friend, though. He won't do anything that'd hurt him, will he?'

He followed the Lieutenent down to the end of the pier where they leaned against the rail. There was silence for a few minutes until Finn finally spoke.

"Permission to speak freely, Sir?"

Evan nodded. "Go ahead, Finn."

"I'm not gonna beat around the bush, Sir. You're not stupid and neither am I. Five years ago, my best friend became a shell of a man. He hasn't been the same since. This past week, I've started to see the Graham I used to know. And that's because of you."

Evan opened his mouth, even though he wasn't sure of what he was going to say but Finn kept on talking.

"I won't warn you off, because frankly it wouldn't do any good. Graham wouldn't listen to me even if you did. But I will tell you this. If you hurt him again, I will beat you to death with a shovel!"

At Lorne's raised eyebrow, Riley shrugged. "A friend once told me a vague disclaimer's nobody's friend."

Evan smiled. "Riley, isn't it?"

The other man nodded.

"You've obviously been a good friend to him over the years, Riley. And look. I'm not gonna deny the shit I did. It was a mistake. I know that now. But I'm never gonna regret knowing him. I care about him a lot. More than you know. More than I suspect he or I know. And I want you to know that I will die or throw myself to the lions before I ever let anyone, even myself hurt him. Ok?"

Riley nodded once. "Just thought to get it straight now, Sir."

Evan held out his hand and Riley took it gladly. "Good man, Finn. You're loyal and strong and you don't bullshit. I'm glad we've got you here. And I'm glad Gray's got you here too. And for the record, if I ever hurt him, I'll borrow Parrish's shovel from botany and give it to you myself."

Evan headed off to finish his circuit. His head spinning. He didn't know how John and Rodney did it because it looked like he and Graham would end up being the worst kept secret in Atlantis.

* * * *

Heading into the mess a little earlier than he usually would, Sheppard was surprised to see Evan sitting alone on the outside patio drinking coffee and staring out over the ocean. Loading up his tray, he headed out to his table.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked.

Evan looked up with a wary look that passed quickly when he saw who was interrupting his thoughts. "Sure, Sir. Pull up a chair."

"You okay?" asked Sheppard, slowly. "You seem a bit jumpy. Everything go alright last night?"

Instantly, Evan's face broke into a smile. "Better than alright." He leaned toward John and lowered his voice. "Actually, I meant to catch up with you some time today to say thank you."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow and suggestively leered at Evan. "I was right, wasn't I? You and Sgt Hottie couldn't keep your hands off each other!"

Evan rolled his eyes at his CO. "His name's Graham, John. He's not a piece of meat. He's more than that and you know it!"

Sheppard laughed. "I know that, Evan! So a good time was had huh?"

Evan raised his eyebrows in challenge. "Want me to draw you a diagram? Maybe give McKay a few pointers?"

Sheppard's face blanched and he wisely backed off that train of questioning. "Ok, ok. I give. So if it's not that, what's got you so jumpy?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Evan looked back over the ocean. "How do you and McKay do it, John? I've spent one night, well half of one night with Graham and I'm already going mad from not seeing him. And how the hell do you keep it so quiet? Graham's best friend threatened to beat me to death with a shovel this morning!"

Instantly, Sheppard switched into commander mode. "The hell, Evan? Do I need to speak to this guy?"

Evan shook his head. "Nah. It's nothing like that. Seems last time I hurt Graham as bad as I hurt myself and Finn, that's his friend, was there to pick up the pieces. He's just looking out for his best friend. Nothing I wouldn't do for you if I thought for half a second McKay was even capable."

Dramatically, Sheppard clasped his hands over his heart. "Major! Does that mean I'm your best friend? Can we be BFF's forever? Get matching bracelets or tattoos or something?"

Evan groaned, running a hand down his face. "Every day, John! Every day I regret ever talking to you! You're worse than my sister!"

Atlantis hummed to herself. Her two favourite occupants were happy at last.


End file.
